Cops in Krynn
by Anakerie

Cops is filmed on location. All suspects are presumed innocent until proven guilty and executed.

Cops in Palanthas:

Officer: What we have here is a domestic violence call. Tower of High Sorcery. Figures. Seems like we go out there every Saturday night.

*camera shows cop knocking on the door of the Tower. Raistlin answers in a black silk bathrobe.* What?

Officer: We got a call of a disturbance, sir. May we come in.

Raistlin: *bows* Be my guest.

Dalamar is sitting at a table, holding his own robe closed, tears on his face.

Officer: Come on, Nightson. Let's see what he did to you this time.

Dalamar: *opening robe to show the holes burned in his chest.*

Officer: *sucks in breath.* Come on, let's get you to a cleric. Do you want to press charges.

Dalamar: *in quiet voice* No, it was my fault. I know he's been under a lot of pressure and I made him mad.

Officer: You know he's going to keep doing this to you, right? He's going to keep doing this until he kills you one night.

Dalamar: You don't understand...I know he really loves me. It was my fault..

Officer: *sighs* Look Majere, I can't press charges without his say so, but I'm keeping an eye on you. You've got a good apprentice here. You need to start treating him nice.

Raistlin: Mind your own business. This is between the two of us!

*back in car*

Officer: You see it all the time. It's always the same thing. "My Master really loves me." or "It was my fault; I spilled his potions on his robes." These apprentices would rather be with a master that hurts them than be alone.

 

Cops in Solace:

Officer: We're answering a call about a disturbance at the Inn of the Last Home. Used to be a nice place, a place you could bring your kids to. Now it's a dive.

*camera shows crowd gathered around outside of the Inn, two men fighting in the center.*

Officers: Okay, okay break it up. *restraining fighters. One is a smaller man, the other is very big, smelly, and extremely drunk.*

Big man: Ishhh YER fault. All a it YER fault. You kept..PICKIN' on him till he turned evil, ya #$%&#.

Smaller man: I haven't seen your brother in years! Not since he left school to take his test. You're crazy!

Officer: What's your name?

Smaller man: Jon Farnish. He's upset because his brother and I had differences 20 years ago. He blames a different person every week; guess this time it was my turn.

Bigger man: ISSS ALL YER FAULTS!

Officer: Let's get him down town so he can sleep it off.

Jon Farnish: I want to press charges!

Bigger man: *rips away from cops and tackles Jon again. Cops try to intervene. Bigger man grabs gun away from officer and starts firing it into the air. People scream and run.*

Officer: He's got a gun!

Bigger man: Yeah, that's right. I'm KING OF THE WORLD!!!! *passes out on the ground*

Officer: I don't know what they think they're going go fix doing this. What this guy needs is boot camp somewhere.

 

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